Far From Our End ChErik
by EchoXMatsuyama
Summary: Charles thoughts after the events in X-Men First Class. CHERIK Warning! DreamersEclipse has a companion piece to this called Just The Beginning


Far From Our End

Charles and Erik

Oh you're gone, you've left me. Now I'm sitting here in this quiet study, lost in my thoughts because that's all I have left. I can't focus on anything else besides the voice in the back of my head that is in the form of many regrets; regrets such as being too scared to tell you that I loved you.

I love you.

The words rolled off my mind and into an echo through my skull. The vibrations from the words striking my heart and like lighting I was in pain. My right hand came up to clutch at my shirt and I found myself hunched over my legs.

My legs…

My legs, you did this to me. I am now condemned to a wheel chair because of our conflict in beliefs. I can stand never being able to walk again (A/N: No pun intended), but what I can't stand is the way you could just leave me like that. You ran to my side, you **ran** to my side! I can still feel the tingle of your hands cradling me. The last time I would be able to see you as a man with compassion and not just ambition and hate. Your murky grey eyes filling with hints of tears and your thin lips falling open as you tell me you didn't mean it, and that you were sorry.

I wanted to reach up with my hand and stroke your cheek one last time, to tell you that it's okay. It would have been okay if you would have just stayed with me. If you would have realized that the road you are going down is one full of poison. A type of poison that consumes your heart and that will eventually take everything you care about in this world.

Cared…

You cared for me, and I want to believe that you still care about me, but I have no means of reassuring myself. You severed all links between us. No matter how strong I become, you cease to exist in my vast world of minds.

I want to find you, I really do but I can't bring myself to fight any longer. I can't fight for you. I am lost and scared. My pillar, you, is gone and I no longer have a stable grasp on the world. I am even lost in my own mind. Sometimes I lose track of who I am.

Who am I?

I want to disappear. When you left me on that beach I was also left with a hole in my heart where I wish you would stay. I wonder if you even remember all those nights we spent with one another during our training. All those moments you held me close and told me you cared for me. All those secrets you whispered into my ear; those secrets of your past. A past you would rather forget, but you allowed me to know, to hold onto, just so that I could feel even closer to you. And I did, I felt so close to you that I could even feel the pain you felt.

When you slept and the nightmares crept into your dreams, raiding the peace you wanted to be a part of, I peered into your mind and saw glimpses of those demons. Tossing them to the side I gave you back your serenity.

Serenity…

I gave you our serenity. The peace you and I built together in just that short time. And even within that short time I felt like I had been with you for eternity and I hope that you had felt the same…but I guess you hadn't or else you wouldn't have left me.

You left me…

You left me so that you could fulfill a dream, a dream that I wish you would see is full of holes. Sure I understand your point of view, but you need to understand mine. The only way we can truly be accepted on this plant is to show these humans that we mean no harm, that we are not the monsters they think we are.

You want to show them that we are the better more evolved form of a human, and I get that, but if you would just push your pride to the side then me and you, **together, **can show them that the only difference between them and us is that we have very, very special abilities. And if you think of it, maybe they are scared of us and freaked out about what we can do because they don't understand. And we should teach them about our abilities not force them to acknowledge us as the superior creatures.

Erik the way you are headed is towards a dictatorship, and if you become a dictator then you will be no better than Hitler, Stalin, **Shaw** and any other foolish creature that thinks he is god.

God…

You are no god Erik. You are a wonderful amazing mutant who had stolen my heart, body, mind, and soul. I have fallen head over heels for you and I can only hope I had at least made an impact on you. And when it comes down to something as simple as me and you, Charles and Erik, then I don't care if we are human, mutant, or animals for crying out, I will always love you, I still love you and no matter the evil you commit I will love you.

Love…

I would like to believe we fell in love with one another the moment I jumped in the water to save you. When I met your eyes a spark went off in my mind and I knew you would be the man who would bring me love and that would bring me pain.  
It was fate; it was woven in our souls and hearts. We were destined to end up like this. When I pull myself out of this hole I had dug myself in from loving you too much then I will find you. I will find you just so I could confess my love, and then we would end this for good.

End…

This is not the end Erik. This is far from our end.

~ThE EnD~


End file.
